*Warning* There are curse words below.
Today I read an article that’s going around about sharing your “I don’t” lists.
(I'll put in a link below)
YES!!! People this is great!
As a culture we feel all this expectation to do it all, have it all, do it "positively", better, faster and look damn sexy whilst doing it all.
Manage Your money
Get in your workout
Do all the things with the children
Raise kind, perfect, environmentally friendly, work ready children
Have an amazing house, car, job, face, ass
Post it all on social media in a colour coordinated way
Have all the sex, but not too much
Save the world
I like to quit shit.
What is important to you? What if you quit the shit that isn’t?
Here’s some of the things I have quit, or perhaps never picked up:
I don’t have a “normal” job. Because right now I choose be with my 4 year old. I choose to teach yoga, and do the shit I like, when I feel like it. Yes sometime my bank account reflects that. And right now, I’m ok with that.
Not having a “normal” job has given me the space to do more of what I value and it’s given me the space to build a really strong relationship with myself.
I like to walk around my house naked eating the “healthy” brand of chips + chocolate sometimes. And that feels great for my mental and all-around health.
I let my house get messy AF, and I do like to clean it at the end of most days.
And when I don’t feel like cleaning it at the end of the day; I don’t. And I don’t feel bad about that.
I don’t fill our schedule with all the things for our kids. They do a couple extra activities a year, and otherwise we just hang out, lots of time we hang out outside. And that’s really nice. Those are my favourite moments.
I quit feeling guilty for not being the perfect mom. I yell at my kids sometimes. I accept that sometimes being mom looks more like being a referee. And somedays, I quit being the referee, and then they can learn to problem solve and communicate.
I quit listening to them all the time. I bought noise cancelling headphones so I don’t have to hear them all the time. THAT feels great for my mental and all-around health.
I quit watching the news.
I sometimes quit social media.
I don’t have a cell phone. And haven’t since I was a teen. (Actually I did have one in my 20’s for about a month, and I accidentally ran it over, which aligned with me)
I quit putting pressure on myself to look good all the time. I’ve actually found immense pleasure in surprising ppl with my style choices. Sometimes I look like an old lady, braless, unbathed, hippie. And sometimes I put on makeup and do my hair, and look like a fucking badass ballin queen. And guess what, it doesn’t matter.
I quit trying to be positive all the time. Fuck that. Sometimes I need to sit in the shit and stew and feel and experience the deep depths of myself. Which can be painful. And I am open and accepting of those experiences. I feel the anger, sadness, discomfort, fear and joy. I welcome it all. Even when I’m scared shitless. I feel it in my body and breathe. I do my best to not act on it. When the kids make me mad, I do my best to regulate myself and not to freak out at them. But in all honestly, sometimes I do.
I do love sex. That’s something I haven’t quit, yet ;).
All and all, I’m sharing this because we’re all doing our best. We can be bombarded with all the things we think we should be doing. We feel not good enough. Unsuccessful. Or like there is something wrong with us if we need and want to rest and just be; And for me, I’ve learned to love quitting what is not working for me; Or not putting myself in the position in the first place, if I don’t have the space for it. I’ve learned to say no. Hell yes to that.
Dear gorgeous human whom is reading this; I am not telling you to quit your job and run over your cell phone. (You can if you want). I am not telling you to leave every relationship that stirs up your shit. Relationships do that. They’re allowed to be messy sometimes.
I hope you discover what works for you. We’re all different. What works for me won’t work for everyone. I hope you courageously quit the shit that isn’t working. To me that is the most divinely feminine act. Create the space. I hope you remember that you deserve all your love and affection. You’re doing a great job. And I wish you courage, love and healing on your journey.
As promised heres the link to the article I'm talking about: